


Being Human

by colorBlip



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Beach City, Being Human - Freeform, Crystal Gems, Depression, Dondai Supremo - Freeform, Just a little time, Love like You, PTSD, SU - Freeform, Sad, Steven Universe - Freeform, Steven Universe Future, Steven drives, Steven is depressed, Steven isn’t okay, Steven leaves Beach City, Steven needs therapy, finding yourself, mental health, self love, short fic, there’s no happy ending, there’s no such thing as happily ever after, w-w-what about the poison?!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:48:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21852466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colorBlip/pseuds/colorBlip
Summary: Steven isn’t happy with the life he’s living right now. Maybe he can find a new one, somewhere else.
Comments: 21
Kudos: 109





	Being Human

_ Just a little time. _

Steven just needed something else instead. Being a half gem and half human hybrid was exhausting. He really did put up with a lot more than anyone really knew.

He tried. He tried everyday not to be like  _ Her. But everyday,  _ something new happened that made it almost impossible not to follow her steps. Everything was falling apart, and Steven didn’t know what else he could do to keep himself and the gems happy.

_ He tried with everything in him to not be like her.  _ It was hard to ignore the comments. The comments when he was told that he was _ so much like her. _ When the Diamonds called him Starlight...

He was tired of being the one that everyone came to with their problems. It was too much for him to handle, and everyday, he forgot more and more who we really was. 

When he looked in the mirror, he saw nothing. Just the lost, empty stare of his reflection. He was tired of feeling lost. He used to know the true feeling of self-love, but ever since he learned the truth about his mom, all of his human feelings disappeared from his consciousness. 

He used to know the true feeling of knowing who he really was, and who he was meant to be. It was nothing but a hazy memory now. He no longer knew what it felt like to feel. His human half slowly slipped away from him over the past few years.

Being human was out of the question now.

Steven was now numb to his real feelings. He barely ate anymore, and started showing emotions less and less, and even the gems picked up on it. One emotion that hasn’t left him yet, was anger. He always insisted that he was fine.

_ He wasn’t fine. He was far from it _ .

But they couldn’t know that. The gems only know the facade of Steven. He couldn’t keep it up much longer. It was becoming expensive on his mental health.

Just a little time. 

He swore. The old, happy Steven would be back in just a little time. He was sure that this was just a phase. A coincidence to test him, perhaps. The truth? Everyday he lost hope. He knew Steven wasn’t coming back. Maybe if he believed it enough, it’d be true.

He had to escape.

There had to be something out there for him.

Definitely. 

Most certainly. 

_ Right _ ?

This couldn’t be the end. There has to be a happy ending for him. 

Maybe there was. There was nothing here for him. He was just wasting time staying in this place. He thought it was his home. He was sure that this was where he was supposed to be. 

With the gems. 

With his  _ family _ ...

Family isn’t supposed to put you down though, ... or tear away at your well-being...  _ right _ ?

No,  _ stop _ !

_ His sanity was dwindling by the minute. _

They aren’t doing it on purpose. They’re all just in a tough spot right now. This’ll blow over. This isn’t going to last forever. 

Everything that he has been through was catching up to him. 

He just needed something else instead. A new start. Someplace where no one knew him. Where no one knew his past.

So he left.

He didn’t take anything but the keys to the Dondai with him. Not even his phone. He didn’t want to be known here anymore. He told no one that he was leaving. Not even his dad.

Was there something else for him beyond Beach City?

So he took his car. It was the only thing he owned now. It was around 5pm when he left, and the sun was setting. He knew it wouldn’t take long for the gems to realize that he was missing.

But he didn’t care.

He didn’t care  _ at all _ … it felt so good to finally acknowledge that.

They were all oblivious. Oblivious to the truth. 

Oblivious to his feelings. 

_ Unaware _ .

He left Beach City. Now, all of his pain, regret and sorrow flowed behind him.

Further and further behind the coastline, the only home he ever knew disappeared behind him as he could see in his rear view mirror. His pain was all in the past now.

He promised he’s going to fix himself. It’s going to take a lot of work.

Maybe he’ll come back and visit in a few years. It wasn’t exactly in his plans, though.

He couldn’t ignore the little voice in his head though. It pulled on his heart strings. 

_ It was telling him not to be so careless. _

He didn’t have a plan. He didn’t know where he was going at all. Just away. He needed to be away.

This was the right thing to do. He’s doing this to be better. For himself, and for his family. He was doing the right thing.

Was he?...

He just needed to be away from the constant reminders of why he hated himself.

He turned the volume dial on the built-in stereo on the dashboard to drown out the voices that made him second guess.

He looked in the rear view mirror again to check his progress, and Beach City was getting more distant by the second. It slowly disappeared behind the long distance of the road that he had already left behind. Hopefully he wouldn’t get a ticket for stepping on the gas. He needed to see it go away faster. He never wanted to see it again. Ever.

Just a little time will fix this. 

_ Everything _ will be okay.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> LEAVE FEEDBACK I BEGGGGGGGGG 🥺🤲🤲 IM DESPERATE FOR YOUR COMMENTS AND YOUR WORDS SO PLEASE IT ONLY TAKES A SECOND. Ok thanks love u 😘😘❤️❤️❤️


End file.
